my slightly off life

why cant i have the perfect life that i dream of in my head? i mean in my dream world all these guys like me and i never know or have never thought of them in that way but in reality it's not like that because i look at every guy i talk to and have an attraction to him because i know im never gonna get a boyfriend that i want to keep. i just want to be kissed you know not like ooh peck i want the full on tongue wagging, breathless, love lusting kiss that you see in the movies but no never gonna happen...i just cant connect with any guys...first im too loud, or annoying, but if they get past that IF!! then they see me as a great friend who will help them with their girl troubles, even asking me to tell me where to take out my best friend while i spend another friday night alone on the computer looking up songs about love and how people lost the great love of their life and trying to tell myself that im not the only one that's single, im not the only one who wants something that they cant have but it's like that...i dont have any great guy friends...i try to act like the friends of mine that do have those type of guy friends that they'll tell anything, but when i try to act like them im considered disgusting or annoying or just plain loud, i hate it!!!! i just want to grab some guy and say do you think im attractive, like if you looked at me would you immediatly want to make out with me and if he said yes i would just kiss him right there, but alas that's never gonna happen unless i want some stupid nerd (and im not talking smart nerd im talking stay at home, with youre N64 never leave your house nerd) *wails in frustration* i just want love!!!!!!!!!

i hate stupid daylights savings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am soooooo incredibly tired! and today I had to dance! damn them all...*let's out a cry and pounds head on table* "that my friend's is the sound of boredom" I found the most idiodic--crap cant spell--lyric i will now tell you it "Passport, customs, carryon--remember to shut off all or your electronic devices--fell asleep on Tuesday...woke up monday afternoon--I slept right throught your internation dateline" hmm it's so...poetic...not really i dont like it at all