my slightly off life

I LOVE ALL ME FRIENDS

why the fuck cant i be the one everyone likes why is it ALWAYS my friends who are i mean im not weird okay i am but ive never thought that i was annoying or bad or anything and it sucks i wish that i were beautiful i mean ive had people tell me i am but im not grr i just wish that i was like all my friend who can cry for like hours and be all blochy and still be beautiful!!!! grr i hate being me and i wish that i could just tell a story and have guys fall in love with me..*cough nate c. cough* man i wish but it's never gonna happen i mean idont even have the voice for it i mean i have a mans voice lets admit it grrr i hate me but im happy with myself is that wrong grr everythings so confusing!!

Things guys should know about girls:
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say you understand when you don't.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is ALWAYS the Prettiest!
5. You don't have PMS; don't fuckin act like you know what it's like.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
7. If you talk about having a big Dick; we know you don't.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want real relationships.
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.
11. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
14. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
16. We are DrAmA queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. Don't ask us to give u head; if you are nice you just might get it.
19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about... in other words shut the fuck up...well most of the time
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
21.eWe don't shave our legs everyday so get over it.
22. Don't make bets about us; we will always find out.
23. Shave; no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we always hate it.
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emitt other strange gases from your body, itisnt, so DONT..
25. Don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson's; hers are fake, just remember that. ( u have a better shot at ours than you ever will with hers, you may as well give it up now)
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
27. We are beautiful at all times.
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.
29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss in the toilet and not on it.
30. Most importantly: we are always right; so don't forget it.

if wishes were horses, we'd be knee-deep in crap.

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God